A Guide to Awkward

Having trouble cracking my lexicon of awkward? Not sure what the fuck that phrase or acronym really means? This is where I will break it down for you.

C

Crazy Pants = a person who is exhibiting extreme strangeness  i.e. “Did you see that crazy pants running around in a jumpsuit?”; a term of endearment for friends i.e. “Hey crazy pants, lets go get something to eat.”

Creep of the Day = Despite many definitions abound, for the purposes of this blog a creep is defined as an individual that stampedes through personal and social boundaries thereby exerting extreme discomfort on the individual – which often goes unnoticed by said creep.

D

Dingle Dangle = this can refer to any number of things, but in general it is a term used for something you can’t remember the name of; that does not have a name; or when you are simply looking to add vibrancy to your lexicon.

F

FBD = Future Baby Daddy. 1) Guy that, although somewhat creepy, performs an action that warrants high regard from yours truly.

O

OP = Optimus Prima, the name of my car. It’s the female version of Optimus Prime – this is what happens when you go see Transformers and then feel the need to name your car.

S

Shit My/Their Pants: Okay, normally I wouldn’t put this up, however in the past people have assumed the literal definition, which is wrong and results in substantial confusion and disgust. In this case, the term refers to a) someone/something that smells fucking terrible i.e. “Eww throw out that milk, it smells like someone shit their pants in your fridge!” and b) extreme fright and or terror “I saw a ghost and nearly shit my pants!”

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