Upon realizing that I haven’t posted on here in what seems like ages I took advantage of my lazy Sunday to go to a coffee shop and begin piecing together the remnants of long ago started, but never completed blog posts. While working I kept thinking about the fact that I’ve actually been relatively creep free lately. Aside from the standard “hey grrrrllll” when I walk to the store or train station, my creeper magnetism appears to have lost its mojo. Admittedly, I’m pretty okay with that – I don’t particularly enjoy feeling uncomfortable and weirded out – however, it does mean that this blog suffers for it and instead winds up with images of fruit that I find creepy and entertaining (sorry ya’all!).
After cranking out a post that had long been stuck in my draft box, I finally decided to head home. I opted for the sleepier, more neighborhood route and found myself casually strolling down the street, looking at row houses, and thinking about the cold glass of water I’d have when I got home. As I began crossing to the other side of the street, I heard a woman yell “Excuse me!”
Not thinking much of it. I kept walking. “Excuse me!” I heard again and continued to keep walking convinced it wasn’t me. “Excuse me, ma’m!” Finally wondering who the fuck this person is yelling at I turn around and see two well dressed women running across the street waving at me. Hmm…maybe I dropped something?
They approach me and again say “Excuse me! We’re not from around here. We’re from X neighborhood, can we ask you a question?” Oh, okay, you’re lost. “Sure.”
“This is Shania,” she says gesturing to her friend “and I’m Cindy. We’re planning seminars in the area.”
“Okay…” What the fuck, I thought you were lost now you’re trying to sign me up for shit.
“They’re about history and music and language and how all of it provides evidence for what’s said in the Bible.”
Fuck. At that I said “Sorry, I’m not interested–best of luck” and started to turn away.
“Oh you’re not interested?”
They looked surprisingly crestfallen, although I can only imagine this is the standard response they get. I began walking away and I hear, “Can I ask you one more question?”
Awe fuck. Why do I feel guilty enough to turn around? “Uhm sure.”
“Have you ever heard of the female image of Jesus?”
OMG ITS THE FUCKING FEMALE JESUS PEOPLE AGAIN! WHAT THE FUCK? How are these crazies invading my fucking neighborhood now?
In disbelief, I quickly said “I’m sorry I’m not interested” and walked away in utter disbelief that I’ve now been approached twice by this same random shit.
Not gonna lie. I definitely looked back at least twice to make sure those weirdos weren’t following me. My head kept spinning with AHHHH FEMALE JESUS PEOPLE STRIKE AGAIN! AHHH! Honestly, is there something about me that screams “I wanna know about female jesus?” or “Sign me up for your cult-like religious sect NOW” or is it just my creeper magnetism mojo still bubbling strongly underneath the surface? Not to mention I clearly have a lot of work left to do on my whole “be more of an asshole” thing.
WWFJD? I posited in my earlier post on this topic. Invade your fucking neighborhood with Lightning, that’s what.
Update: So I’ve been trying to research this further to find out who the f these people are and apparently it’s not that Lightning shit, but not too far from it. This is pretty much the same thing that has happened to me: http://www.therowboat.com/2008/08/do-you-believe-in-mother-god/.
There’s also this, which argues that its cult-like and notes a teaching was “black people are cursed” – I’m not sure what to believe about this shit, but I’m totally weirded out by it and these people approaching me: http://www.examiningthewmscog.com/archives/missionary-ron-ramos-explains-why-he-left-the-wmscog-after-12-years/